At least half the marriages end in divorce these day’s, at least that’s what the statistics tell us, not a pretty picture considering the damage divorce can do to both parties involved. Often the ill effects are felt for years to come, some people never get over it, even after they get remarried.
Divorce is an epidemic that has spread across the nation like chicken pox, it leaves deep emotional and spiritual scars that are very difficult to heal. We are not going to play the blame game here, just examine the how’s, and whys of this epidemic of divorce.
Often times one partner ends up in an affair, or develops a addiction to pornography. Porn is one of the worst things that can destroy an otherwise happy home. Men are most often the ones that get caught up into the twisted web of porn, especially now with the Internet, it is available at the click of the mouse.
Women can be caught in this web also, but men are the most likely to be the victims because of their God given genetic make-up. Man are turned on sexually by their physical senses (Sight,sound,smell,touch,taste). Women are turned on emotionally, and can sometimes are drawn to other men they come in contact with looking to fill the void.
Both partners have expectations that they expect to be met within the marriage relationship, and when they feel that those expectations are not being met the way they think they ought to be met, they get upset about that, and if these expectations (needs) are left unmet too long, it can spell big trouble for the marriage. People who have are upset about their expectations not being met often start looking around for someone to meet them, both men and women are susceptible to this.
When I was working at this one place, they hired this cute little gal with a great personality, and a heck of a great body. She treated me with respect and dignity, everything my wife did not. She laughed at the funny things I said, and told me I was funny. If I had pushed it with her, I probably could have gotten really lucky cause she was HOT! But I didn’t do it, and that was probably the best.
Sex is powerful, and when it is cut off when your relationship goes sour, you will feel the pain. That’s because sex is much more than just two bodies humping in the night, it is an emotional and spiritual experience as well, and when it’s no longer there, you will be hurting a lot.
When a couple has been together for a few years, and they find themselves being separated from each other, facing divorce proceeding’s, or after a divorce is finalized, the cold hard truth will start to sink in, I’m alone now, it’s cold in this bed alone. I should know, I’ve been there, and it’s not a fun experience to go through, I don’t recommended it to anyone.
The anxiety of being alone without the person you spent so much time with, sat across the dinner table from, and made love too many times, can sometimes lead to symptoms of depression which can be debilitating if left untreated. Sometimes the after effects can last for years and leave a person in ruin, but that does not have to be the case. If you find yourself having feelings of suicide, please seek help right way, your life is precious, don’t throw it away too.
Divorce leaves both partners in sexual turmoil, that is very frustrated and as your mind flashes back to those intimate times you used to share with your spouse, and it hurts when you turn over and no one is there for you. There are a whole mess of Internet sites that sell toys for lonely people, yes I’m talking about sex toys, but those toys don’t replace the real thing, I don’t care what they say. The reality is nothing can replace what goes on between a man and a woman in bed, or in the kitchen, or the back seat just for kicks, it is impossible to get that kind of full experience from a piece of plastic, and some KY!
Financial issues often go hand in hand with divorce, and they can be substantial, and very costly. Alimony, Child Support, and of Lawyer fees can put a major drain on your bank account, and leave a person scraping the bottom of the barrel. So think about the cost of getting a divorce, is it really worth ruining your life over, or is there a way to work things out and save your marriage, and your wallet.
So before you throw in the towel, consider what ending your marriage will do to both you and your partner, and if you have kids, how it will hurt them as well. Divorce effects all of your friends, your relatives, your neighbors, and your co-workers. It often leads to financial ruin, and great hardship. It leaves emotional, physical, and spiritual wounds that can last the rest of your life. Still want a divorce?
Hollywood couples marry and divorce like it was a national sport, and they make it look harmless, but it is not harmless, it is very harmful to every life it touches. Don’t be fooled by their fake smiles, they are carrying the same weight around that any other divorced person carries, they are human also. Hollywood has had a big hand in cheapening the sanctity of marriage, and they ought to be ashamed of themselves.
One way to prepare yourself for marriage is to ‘divorce proof’ it before you take the plunge. One way to do this is called “Fire Proofing Your Marriage”. You might remember hearing about the movie “Fireproof”, staring Kirk Cameron of the hit TV sitcom Growing Pains. Kirk plays a fire fighter with a very troubled marriage, who accepts a challenge to ‘love dare’ his wife, in an attempt to save his marriage. If you have not seen this film, it is riveting, and life changing! Yes it has a religious message woven into it, but I promise you it won’t kill you, it might just make all the difference in your life.
The central theme of the film is, well, watch it and find out for yourself.
I know that in my own life not having a soft, warm women, and a sex life has really left some deep wounds in my own spirit. It’s hard not having the person I loved not there next to me. I have had some bouts of depression here and there, in fact, I most recently lost my house to the bank because I lost my job soon after she finalized the divorce. I laid there many nights wishing it had never happened, but I had nothing to say about it, she just decided to throw away almost 14 years of our lives away, that really sucks!
The best way is to prepare is before marriage, to minimize your chances of every having to get a divorce, there are programs you can get involved in your local area, most of which are offered through churches, usually during the week. These programs deal with men and women, and how they relate to each other, to help you understand how the other one works, and It just might give you what you need to make it work for a lifetime.
Just because things get tough does not mean you have to just give in and quit. If that person you married to was worth marrying in the first place, then the marriage ought to be worth working to save. Such an endeavor takes both of you agreeing to work things out, to get the necessary help to try and save the relationship. Just as it takes two too make love, it takes two too make love work. Love is not a warm fuzzy feeling you have all the time, it is not sexual arousal, it is an enduring flame of emotional, physical, and spiritual passion between a husband and his wife, it is irreplaceable.
If you are given the order from your spouse to leave the house, you must realize that in doing so you are abandoning her and any children you might have, even if you were force out, she will use that in court, so be ready with a good lawyer who will fight for your rights as a man. There are organizations like DADS, that represent dad’s in legal matters, and in legislative matters. You should note that the law is largely sexist, and on the side of women more so than men, so be prepared to be treated like crap by the legal system.
Women will keep the family home nine times out of ten, so look for a friend or relative to move in with, or get an apartment, get a roof over your head first thing. When you end up facing down FOC (Friend of the Court), they will take into consideration what it costs you for rent, but otherwise get ready to be screwed sideways by the FOC, and like most government programs, they are really good at screwing up their records, watch them like a hawk. If you can talk your ex into opting out of FOC, and paying her directly, do it!
You may have to fight for your rights, remember now, you have to eat and provide for yourself too, so don’t let them run you over. The court will treat you fairly as long as you maintain your composure, and show the judge you are trying to be peaceable, and be honest in working things out.
After the divorce is finalized is when it all hits I believe, just like after the death of a loved one, there comes a time when it all sets in and wham! Be prepared to get help if you need it, and find a close friend to confide in, so you have a safe place to unload. Going out to eat alone takes getting used too, I hated it at first, but I soon learned that I had more freedom to go where I wanted too, this pissed off my ex!
My ex was mad about the fact that I seemed to be enjoying life, and going places that I never took her when we were married, too bad i told her, that’s what happened when you file for divorce. Hey, she even called me up once to come over for a ‘good time’ if you know what I mean? I said NO! Remember, were divorced!
Surviving divorce can be tough, I have found with God’s help, I can get through it and find healing for the wounds that she left me with. Other than that you just have to fight to keep your head up, and keep working and earning that pay check cause, your gonna need it.
In short! If you don’t intend on staying married to death do you part, don’t get married in the first place, and whatever you do, don’t have kids if your not in it for the long hall That is my advice to you, coming from a guy whose been there, and if I knew then what I know now, I might still be married, who knows!
Codeigniter Development